It's six o' clock in the morning and the sun begins to peak through the sleeping, tainted world. You yawn, pushing yourself to watch it rise, your mind rattling and your emotions taking over. You get up, walk over and open the curtains while taking in a deep breath as a sudden calm and serenity overbears your sense of being. For this my friend, God, is a new day for most but the same for me, as everyday meshes into one long dream.
Life is like an unreal awakening that just keeps turning when you least expect it. You take in the warmth of the sun, release your aches and pain and say,
"Goodmorning God. Thank you." because you know without the light, without the rising sun it wouldn't be the same beautiful terraine you're use to arousing every morning like this and everything is copasthetic.
You turn the water on for a shower, climb in the stall and feel the hot water irradiating over you and cascading warmth through your senses and keep reminding yourself that this is a new day. You get dressed slowly, reaching in one sleeve at a time, you poor a cup of coffee and put on your shoes.
Just another restless night, just another exhausting day. Just another minute, hour that passes by because you were scared to go to sleep. How long will this last? How long will you rely on God for energy? When will you be able to sleep again? To rest seems like a waste of time and though you're tired and ache, you still have what seems to be one million things to do.
In the back of your mind, traveling through your thoughts, guilt persuades you that things will never be the same. You will never be the same, you will never be the same without him.
I'd rather not sleep than to wake up alone anymore. Who will become my comfort? Who will hold me through the night and when will God send me an angel so I can rest? So I can fly again.
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