Urges

When I really admit it, when I really think about it.. I'm sorry.

I was stuck with this terrible feeling to call you.

I wanted to just go "home". I wanted to show up with all of my things

and try again... Try to talk it out.. Work it out.. I had an urge.. A burning..

Then all of a sudden I opened my mail.. Thank you for making it worse.

I secretly hate you because I still love you so much it's eating at me in the

pit of my soul, in a deep place that I can not put into words it stings.

There's a little bead of anger that wants to scream "whyyyyyyyyyyyyy??!!!!"