There are two kinds of people in this world. Some say if you let the world take you over, run over you and flatten you out then you deserve to be crushed, therefore they are the crushers. Then there are the people like myself who give every attempt they've got to inflate again even if it means suppressing the road rashed pain to rebuild who you deserve to be and who you deserve to take care of, yourself. Eventually after rebuilding yourself time and time again, after getting on your belly and fixing that damned old shitbox car again for the fifth time that month, spilling coffee on your favorite dress because someone bumped you and it wasn't your fault, being stuck in situations where you have to find means to re-evaluate and apply more pressure to yourself because you couldn't possibly go to the reunion wearing a coffee dress or missing a day of work because your car shit the bed as usual and oh hell, what would people think?

It's nearly impossible to convince the worlds population that they should consider shit happens.

It's nearly impossible to convince the boss' of the world that people are not expendable.

It's even more difficult to not be stressed about things that are necessary to have in order to survive. We put these ideas in our heads that you have to live in a big house and have ten cars however, the point of a house is shelter and comfort and the point of a car is for travel purposes to get to where you need to be efficiently.

Unfortunately, depends on how you look at it, having a job which pays you money keeps putting gas in the car to get there and where you want to go. That money puts food on your table and pays your heat bill and puts clothes on your back because not everyone has everything handed to them. Food is a necessity in order to live. Some people build farms, some people barter and trade and exchange for necessities, but not in America. You can't trade your car for a fridge full of meat very easily. Money talks. There is something about the paycheck that makes you go back.
All this pressure from these systems builds up on everyone. Greed, money, wealth, power, luxury and selfishness are the driving factors for the usual American economy.

That stress that's been added since the day we are born and continually reminds us that nothing in life is free builds up too. I know I can't convince Oprah that it's not fair. I can't convince Trump that he's selfish and greedy. I can't shout out to the world that no one should have two houses because some people have none because communism only looks good on paper.

I have to do it myself just like every other typical American. Some people do things that are unnecessary out of pride and self righteousness in order to earn an income and it doesn't matter who they crush underneath. I'm ranting about this because my stresses in life are primarily the same as everyone elses. Yes I need to deal with them better and yes I can't do anything to get to work if my car is dead. I won't get fired because the alarm didn't go off. The world isn't ending because I'm not appreciated at my job, at least I have one. Yelling doesn't make my engine start.

Screaming doesn't make me wake up an hour earlier. Punching the wall doesn't make me feel better it just hurts my hand but let me tell you I am not the only human who feels pressured in this Greed forsaken world. I guess I'll die trying and screaming, flailing and crying, punching and kicking my way through. At least I'm doing it.

I guess you would all think I bitch a lot. If I read through most of my blogs, some of them just stupid in general, I see myself overwhelmed and rambling. This is a lot like my life. Often times I don't record what's so amazing about life because more times than not, there's nothing. Which leaves the good times rare and extra special to my heart. Perhaps I'm crazy like I've said. I'm sure a shrink would have a feild day investigating my brain and my past however, I'd like to just say that sometimes, life isn't so pretty. I read your blog. You told me life is hard so get a helmet. Technically, they label it depression of some sort. I'd like to call it Oppression. Weighted down by the harsh reality and stubborness of man and all it's institutions.

What exactly is it that we stand for as a human race? You'd think the bottom line was the ability to live. That seems to be the motto in my generation, live and let live, laugh, love and play despite the cruel and wicked ways of this unnatural world we exibit. We have to trudge through like nothing fails us. We have to put on a happy face because no one gives two shits anymore if you're secretly loosing it all.We've set limits, standars, rules and regulations by govern or social acceptance to justify and define the word normal. Really, look it up in the dictionary.

Well eventually as I was saying, FUCK people and their opinions. Eventually you rise above, inflate yourself and walk into the reunion with a coffee smelling dress and have a great funny story to tell. Or you decide you're not going to get neumonia from laying in the snow and you're going to call work and curl up on the couch that day and actually breathe for a minute.Eventually, just maybe, you find a way to deal, to cope, to laugh whether it's a crazy moment when you need to let it out when you're standing in your shower all alone and crying so hard you can't stand up where people can't see you or redicule you. Or you scream so loud and hard while driving your shitbox car all alone that you loose your voice for a week. You find that moment that gives you derivitive, integrity and determination to prove life wrong and it's faulty objections to this "normal" atmosphere we call life.Life doesn't have to be shit.

You've repeated over and over again that I need to de-stress. It's true. I do and I fully agree.It isn't healthy. It's the weight of a ton. I hear you when you said it made you nervous with how much I carry. I heard you when you said that I can't control everything. Once again you're right.I can't. However, I can control myself, my actions, reactions and my own direction. I'm not leaving life out there to find me, I'll find it so I don't agree with that. I think that it's impossible to be on the pursuit of happiness, you just achieve and create it. Things happen and yes, they are out of our control but don't take away my right to control what I can and how I feel, even if it's a fleeting moment where I have a dumb thought or projected mistake. I don't wear my pathetic thoughts of self loathing like Versace, just my heart on my sleeve as usual.
I may be impulsive and reckless, but I'm not dangerous.