ARK: Act of Random Kindness

There's a peace inside when you have the comfort of depression.
It fills the hollow hole of incompleteness. 
A lot of people don't get it. The simplicity. How it eats at you. It's worse when someone you love is drowning in it.
Sometimes life isn't fair. It's unjust and cruel. It bites you in the ass every chance it gets and the fight is called life.
It consumes you and all of your relationships which are the founding reasons we as humans are separate from other animals. 
The ability to love and be loved is not a fairytale or impossible thing. It's a hard effort to let someone in that close but it is the reason worth the battle itself.
Some people think I'm naive and some think I don't know a clue about anything real,especially you, I'm sure. It's not the first time my heart has been challenged or my soul considered weak. Not the last time that my faith has been questioned and my insight been too strongly said. 
It's not the first time I've considered I have no filter or remorse for the truth. It hurts. Just like the struggle of life and death.
It's not the last time I've considered I am helpless and have no ability to save you. It hurts. Just like watching someone fall apart. 
I can't help but think, even though I have my faults, that I'm incredibly proud of these very few things:
My ability to love people irrelevant to their reputation, past or issues. 
The way I see the truth which stabs and sometimes scorns the comfort of ignorance.
Who I am and have become and all that has made me as strong as I am today, even my flaws.
My freedom to so quickly let people in which can be good and bad for myself because I know right away who is welcome or not.
The altruism that lies heavily on my heart and my incapability to not reach out and give a piece of it. Without that stubbornness and naivety, I'd be hollow myself. 
I'll keep reaching out. I'll keep speaking the truth. I'll never not love you. I'll always make my own judgments and I can't hear anything but my heart and yes, I'm proud of that. 
Don't challenge my view of the world. Don't challenge my sight and how beautifully I see you, any of you. And damn it, grab my hand if you're sinking. I certainly wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't take that hand once myself. It's a humbling experience. 
I've learned a lot about being taken advantage of because people don't have hope in themselves but I have yet to give up.
I've learned a lot about moments I could've or should have helped and didn't, and the result when it was such a simple tug. 
There's only so much one person can do, only so many hands to reach out. You have to decide to reach back. To love and be loved. To live and let live. To give and get given to. To bend with the eb and flow of life's quirky moments.
You have your life in your hands, so live it. 
And as far as my faith and relationship with God, I'd have to say that I am most proud of and that I have been challenged with the most. 
I was watching Evan Almighty and I cried. Joan was unaware she was speaking to God. She doubted her husband and his loyal commitment to serve God so much she left him and this is what God said in regards to the story of Noah's Ark:

God: Well, I think it’s a love story about believing in each other. You know, the animals showed up in pairs. They stood by each other, side by side, just like Noah and his family. Everybody entered the ark side by side. 

Joan: But my husband says God told him to do it. What do you do with that? 

God: Sounds like an opportunity. Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for their family to be closer, you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other? Well, I got to run. A lot of people to serve. Enjoy.