Reflection on my day

Hmmn SO I've discovered today, a few things.. HAH One of the biggest, most awful, tickling dreadful ones is... PERHAPS..Just maybe..(How humbling) IIIISSS.....Drumroll
My mother is right! bah haha
(Only sometimes)
She astounds me with her infinite wisdom in life's funny little moments.
She tells me not to cuss and swear. It's not lady like and it's impolite and childish and no one wants to listen to a raving truck driver blushing bombshell.(The list goes on and we won't re-iterate)
But none the less, she's right.
(Except when she stubs her toes, ((she can't barely feel them, we both have neuropathy, a diabetic nerve disease, it's awful and numbing painful and I keep ranting in little dialogues huh? Hasn't been a stressful day what so ever. Nope.))
But when she stubs her toes, I've learned very quickly every bad word in the book of bad words.)
She said she really enjoys my writing and when I tune into my heart, when I really write, from deep down, when it's not my bubbling temper, she said it's beautiful and eloquent but I ruin it with fuck every other word in some of my other rants and raves.

She's right and I hate it.

I've taken on a new task. A new year's resolution that I'm only allowed to say FUCK if I stub my toes.

I like children. I love them. I've been a counselor of sorts, believe it or not, even in high school I was into the Drug Counseling program and helped a lot of kids my age (so much for that bull on a stick)and I have many, many friends who have kids. (Rent-a-babies!!! Great advertisement for birth control when they have peanut butter and jelly anything..)
I bite my tongue around them, I don't even think of swearing. I go to work, I have to be professional in what I do, there is no room to swear. I have to go to church where I can't say FUCK really loud or I'll be banned for goodness sakes. Around kids, I feel like I'm in a different, innocent, exploring,lovable, naive little world where harmful words don't exist. What does crayola, games, games and more games have to do with the word shit? Or Fuck? Or damn it? Or anything else I spew?
When I'm with God I feel guilty,(which is no good...Sorry my narrative thoughts keep peeping through, I have ADD after all) I never swear in prayer and when it slips in daily life, he's watching all the time and I have come to a null conclusion that he probably has bigger things to scold than me stubbing my toe, or dropping hot coffee on my lap, or ranting about some idiot in his big huge SUV, (which reminds me of another thing I experienced today, jeesh) or bitching about the news and cussing someone out for running over my toes in the grocery store, but then I sit and remember that is certainly not the gift of love but how funny would it be, (not to condemn myself though. Yes I'm talking to you up there) how funny it would be to see God stub his toe and not get red in the face and want to yell absurdities across the heavens because the goodness lovin' cloud couch was in the way when he just wanted to pee in the middle of the night. Like anyone likes stubbing their toes anyway.

I fought it. My mother went from a cussing sons a (fill in the blank) to a little old lady who goes to church, bakes cookies and herself and has coffee with the girls every Sunday and tells me to read the book of James when I swear while she practically bops me with the bible over my head like I'm Fresh Prince or something while taking a rip off a joint the size of Cheech's pinky. It didn't seem fair.
But in my observation of 21 years on this wonderful planet, and no I do not presume to know everything, I'm very observant, but in my years I've noticed that there is a time and place for such things in this little society we have built out of ticky tacky and business executives, it's simply not acceptable behavior.
I know they are just words. I'm sorry if they offend any of you but let's be realistic, just because I choose to say Fornicating Under Consent of King does not mean I'm an awful person. SO I will try harder not to swear as much and to filter myself with the presence of God but just to make myself clear,to be completely honest,
I don't particularly give a flyin' hootinanny fuck!
;0
WHAT NOW?


P.S. If you drive any of the following vehicles and continuously think because you are so spiffy you can own the rooooad, please, I beg you, trade it in for a smaller vehicle. Otherwise many many people in the land will think you are overcompensating for a teensy-itty bitty dick!
Unless of course you are female. That is her dick and that's one hot ass toots.

SUV
BIG HUGE TONKA TRUCK WITH PIMPED DOUBLE BACK TIRES AND ALL THAT EXHAUST SHIT
TRAILER
HUMMER...Well.. All guys like Hummers but.. You know what I mean...
And anything else larger than the average sedan.

Fuck you all..

Have a nice day.

No no I'm not pissy today mom.